29th...

my grandpa left us one month ago...

i still miss him alot... been wondering if he's met my grandma...
how are they now...

Mon, Tues, Wed (payday!)... WEEKEND!

dragful....well work piling is fine cos not everything out on the same day. wats wrong this week is the flu bug... i think i am down with it but its not activated yet... scary and i can't afford to fall sick cos i am afraid of work piling up! one day can mean alot.

MONDAY: kidos were ok... went to see car after work join my in-laws and gx who came from mazda and we head to toyota to tryout picnic. the new black limited edition with fitted sports rim, skitting, black film huh, spoiler? haha dun know to spell the terms... was a nice black beauty in the showroom... the door were heavy thou... more spacious than the honda stream. prices are expected to go up soon thou the coe dropped ... we saw fann wong when we turn out from toyota.. of cos she wasnt at TYT, she was walking into the showroom next to TYT... the one starting with P.

TUESDAY: got new "toys" for mum and aunt. its a air purifier... the type that got big leaf on a clear round plastic tank. since school started my class had one given by another teacher. i started to fall in love with it. the frangrance esp vanilla was sniffy good! then my collegue K arranged a bulk purchase for the school! i was thrilled cos i didnt know she helped that teacher buy the fragrance! its was from canada and tot the teacher got it herself and its from states...
so yah i bulk purchase lah for both my families! i bot 7 oils and till yesterday i bot 5 machines! i bot the machine a cheaper version from tpy which is selling for 10 the one BP is 16 and i asked a shop i passed by they were selling for 34 or 43! i opt for the 10 cos i initially oredi planned to buy 3! bot 1 to test then it work the same then tues bot 2 one for mum and the other for aunt. went hom sis wanted so wednesday got her one and then decided to get bro one too... so total i bot 5! yah... the one i bot in tpy came in light greenish blue, pink , orange and lime green... the "original" was in leafy green. lucky mum and aunt liked it.

wednesday: LATE start for children thats means peace in school till 10am... best part is to be able to catch up work. and yes its COFFEBEAN DAY! we all got a $5 voucher to redeem either ice-blended or hot drinks with a muffin. the choc muffin was sooooo good! loved it cos its freshly baked! loaded with chocchips! went for facial 3hrs! at first was sleepy then when cold mask then awake! slept too long i was uncomfortable! and did my 1st online buying today! my gfs are organising a buy... from HK. cheap and pretty... jus hope it fits!!! i ordered 3 only!...

thursday: well tired today cos flu bug seems strongest today... kids sneezing in class... coughing... it OH No! i need more OJ. today computer changed timing which i was glad and no need me to go along.... BEsT! COS i really dun wana see that person that pissed me last thur! rain made the cold worse...

Friday... i can't wait it i know friday haven happen yet but i wish fri's over! yah cannot wait!!! cos thats means sat is next in line!!!! haha cos sat finally we are gog to go for our 1st truespa mssage! so hard to book couple room! almost gave up cos angry with their booking system and receptionist!!! lucky called our spa consultant... got it book finally! i need my massage badly overdued for tooooooo long! hope its a good friday...

testing 1,2,3

this week ... black clouds over my head somehow. been into clashes with tchers! why me! i dun need this attention esp bad impressions! hate it esp the day i clash with a MALE tcher from g2 about using bathrooms! that gay had really mean look and talk to me like i am a third class citizen. no manners and attitude was wrong! i dun have a problem with gays cos i got a few frens who are, i am fine except for RUDE ones! and they think they can bully others with words and can't talk nicely then that i dun accept! dun wana bump into him again. now i hate thursday cos of computer lessons and thats when it happened!

i wan peace at work please! by fri, i finally finished up the folding and hole-punching readers... tedious cos its boring folding and repeatedly hole punching stacks of paper! i wot be able to finish if i hadn't brought it home to do most of it on thursday. lucky for me gx fetched me from work on thurs and he work morning on fri!

Fri afternoon after work, board the free shuttle to Mr Hoss house. he held a home party for primary school staff. this is my 2nd time at his place. this round the buffet was held outside his front door and not in his dining area. so i didnt get to admire his house or know if there is any changes in his home decor. the food half from mr hoe school caterer and half from Michaelanglo a restaurant at Holland V. it was gooood! love the mushroom that was superb! love it cos the top of the mushroom mwas bread crusted stuff topped with cheese. there was tandorri chicken in sticks... yummy but from where i dun know. pastry cups with spinach, pizza, grilled big slices of brinjal, local delights like popiah, chicken wings and sotong ball and there are some pasta and salad that i didnt try.drank 2 glass of white wine... after eating and chatting, went over to the poolside to sit for awhile... as always feel uneasy... left me and may and we waited for a chance to say goodbye to boss.... we sat there patiently as i show her pictures from my old camera... then when 2 sets of teachers make their move, we followed. lucky for us we didnt wait long althou we missed a bus. took the train home and when i got home i felt SICK! headache, nauseaous, aching all over and fever i felt hot! so i went to bed straight! i was feeling so awful! slept till morning! and i felt better... its crazy! i felt so weak that fri nite!

Saturday morning went to give tuition and its for 4hrs... cos thurday not well after 45 mins i left so owe them 1hr and usually on sat tuition for 3hrs! scolded my student cos never do homework again! got home prepared and finally we decided after i suggested botanical gardens to test our new camera. but thats not over first shot we had with the camera... when we left suntec last sunday when we walked bac to mrt we took some shots with the new camera! of the swisshotel of cos! when we turn into the carpark... i was amazed with the number of cars... the carpark was pretty filled. went to the food court to eat my late lunch! chose indonesian bbq... bbq chicken rice with a triangular egg omelette which was very flat.but lucky the chicken was not bad like the sauce. and the soto ayam was like thai soup cos the lemongrass was strong. but i like it.after that we started our walk! this is our 1st shot. i find this interesting and a good idea... its actaully the floor... cemented floor with leave imprints. nice patterns like fallen leaves... we tested our camera and haha ours was tiny among people.... cos there were others with HUGE SLR and long lenses! but we were happy with ours.i am actaully amazed with our botanincal garden some parts they have really dolled up and and the plants are nice. these cattails i think looked great when the wind blew...

trying our hands at artistic shots? haha.... looking at things in different perspective.the swan lake has got no swans... prob becos of the birdflu... but there are lot of fish and turtles.we fed the turtles with biscuits! they had to fight with the fishes who are the faster for the food. this turtle came so close to the edge!this reminds me of the botanical gardens in Bali... our 1st try with the new fuji to take shots together... difficult... cos bulky! but managed a shot at our 1st try! Gx said he like the yellow leaves on the tree.wanna guess wat i was trying to take... when i was about to click it ran off!gx managed to catch a shot on the little squirrel... there were 2 and we saw another before this big tree. we haven been to this park for ages... never been to some area so dun know if its new item onot...but to us its new... like this catus park. we headed to ginger garden where i finally saw halia the restuarant recommended by alot of sas staff... i expected it to be in deeper part of botanical garden. the red flower below is found all over the ginger garden cos this is ginger flower... and we managed to test our camera when we spotted a buterfly on the flower.after a "long" walk thru the grass field, we walked up a hill and i remember where exactly the cafe was! we sat down to get a drink! and of cos need dessert! lemon meringue tart... its was so lemony! first try was sourrrrrrrr then ending with a sweet touch . after 2nd try jus wan more of it! very tempted to buy the whole pie! hee to share of cos... but becos we were heading to pick up family portrait and gx needs to go amk buy badminton shoes. he say he would bring me bac there! i wan to go bac for more desserts! haha! the place and the walk was good. lucky for us it wasnt burning hot. tot it mit rain but it didnt. so lucky us. when we walked into the carpark... got ferrari SUV? i know they are not called suv dun know wats it called lah. and oso a bentley next to it... this flower very interesting.... the stalk is bent in and out. and they are dangling downwards. this is where we finished feeding our biscuits to fish and pigeons! when we went to collect the portrait i was wowed by the biggest portrait. 30R. it was pretty. it was as tall as me sitting on the floor. i was sad cos when i saw my g,pa i wished he saw this. watched his bdae video and was sad esp towards the end cos thats when he spoke for the last time his grand speech! it was the last bdae candles i lit for him...

friday, saturday, sunday till today

dead tired thats how i would describe last week. friday gerald came to fetch me after he finished his work. its considered early for me cos went off at 3.45pm but that oredi after official hours but i still had tons of work on my desk... dam disturbed but no choice i was really tired and needed to have some time with gx. went to check out the shopping centre near my school... looks big but rather empty place... ended up eat loy kee chicken rice which was very salty! then went ntuc then headed home. he went aikido and i ended up sleepy on sofa. thats friday...

saturday was tuition then home then went to serangoon north to find fish... and water plants for tank at home. headed to u.m house to pray its grandpa's 3rd 7.... shanqi. mum made fatty pork for grandpa... watched the slide u.m made years bac when he brought grandpa to beijing. then watch the slide i made again. then went home... boys called gerald to join them out for chitchat. i was excluded anyway i wanted to sleep dam tired. so the boys went out together till 4am.

sunday. today was a big day for me. dap bdae but i can't celebrate with her now... will be belated in nov. big day for me cos i was to use the voucher given to me on my bdae @ equinox. a present from my teacher and students from 2006-2007 class. this was booked way before g.pa passed away. met mum at tpy mrt and arrived at hotel about 11am. instead of jus 2 of us i wanted badly to bring mum along so the brunch was for 3. for the extra pax it cost 100 before tax 117.+++ for free flow MOET champagne brunch. well is this celebration? no cos its jus meal with my family. we did talked aout g.p we never forgot about him. glad we had time for each other and we chat alot for 4 hours.
this was taken in the lift took it straight up to 70th floor equinox! whole lift was S...HI....neeeee

we started eating appetiser like blue cheese with cracker, sashimi, cold crab and rest my favourite try was watermelon with cheese! always see this on cooking programmes and finallly i gota try it! then started on main dishes cod fish, lamb, soft shell crab then rest and chat. then round 2 of chef cooked foi gras, scallops and prawns cooked with white wine... and medium rare beef... and continued with dessert till 4pm. had so many glass of champagne with the food. had 2 pots of tea (the pot is about 2 cups lah not big pot!) with desserts... little sauce saucer of creme brulee... fresh nougats with alot of pistachios and fresh chocolates.and 3rd round of desserts was pistachio ice-cream and fresh strawberries ice-cream. heavens... food was good. had alittle of eveyrthing and was soooo full! the brunch ended at 3pm... 4 hours of dining! am very happy able to bring my mum and hubby...
parted after mum bot bk for bro, his gf and aunt. we carried on to suntec to check out travel fair... JAPAN... he surprised me by telling me he want to check it out... winter ... freezing winter this decemeber??? still pending! anyway spotted a camera that i like... and only that morning he suggested buying a new cam cos the canon one seems faulty... went in to check it out and he liked it too and cos the guy lure us with free gifts... haha we got the cam. its not light... its heavy and bulky but we liked it alot... yah its troublesome but we like it alot. and its fuji which is my prefered brand! hope this will last us! monday was bad day for me. i was piled up with work. was feeling down during kids lunch cos it was so chaotic! hate it! when lunch was over the sun shine like mad! so pissed why must it rain during kids lunch!!!! errr... had help from unexpected collegues and really grateful cos it helped me quicken my pace at work. didnt stay late cos rushed home to go alexander to test car. went honda and tried stream and odsessy... then went toyota but it was too late when we got there and didnt get to try the cars. went to abc market and the carpark was FULL... so i suggested little bali to eat zicha. the food was good! but didnt bring camera along so no fotos. went home to catch ch8 drama last episode... then slept 11+++ exhausted!

today i went to work with positive thinking wanted my day to start out well and i just concentrate on my work and althou still got work undone cos deadline fri and impossible to finish within today anyway i felt better today. went off early cos ann called me but in the end she went home with her dad. i head to tpy and grab dinner and walked around to see shoes and tops... bot NOTHING haha ... have 6 cans of campbell soup for lunch at school... then went for tuition till 7pm and jus had yogurt... type this blog loaded fotos and dam sleepy now... shoulders achy!!!! feel fluey! errrr... flu bug is around .... i can't fall sick... can't afford the time.

missing someone

i am still sad about grandpa, still thinking of him everyday ... i made a slide last sunday. jus on com and jus click moviemaker and started searching for photos... cried when i started at 11+am to 3 pm when i was done with the slide. i used the song written by dick lee used in the show "he's a woman, she's a man" the song title is jin sheng jin ri... a very nice piece and it suited my feelings about me missing my grandpa. when i met mum, we went to aunt k house to wait for gerald to get the car from whampao... i told them not to cry then i will show them something i made... haha i cried the moment it started playing... all of us teared... the photos i had was taken last sept 07 till his bdae in june... i am glad i took pictures of him... i like the picture i took of him with natasha... the oldest and the youngest... love this pic.i am glad that we had a big celebration for him cos when i did the slide, he smiled thruout... and of cos happiest cos he received a mini mahjong set... a pretty big round cake... and think he loved the yum seng most...

stayed over at Uncle M place, on 13th august which was the 1st day of the 7th mth. when i got there aunt k gathered everyone and i showed everyone the slide i made... my motive is not to make everyone cry... i still felt sad but was forced to move on fast cos work piled in school, getting tired cos bac to work after 2mths break... so eventually no time to cry... i am a cry baby thats how i let my sorrow out but so tired no time to stop to miss my grandpa and to throw out the sadness... i felt so bottled up thats why i did the slide in memory of him... but yes most of my family members who saw it cried. cos i think they think the same way as me... we all still miss my grandpa esp my aunt o. who took care of him and lived with him. when she saw the slide... she cried it all out that nite...

it was difficult to fall asleep... cos grandpa's soul was to return that nite... it soul ... so somehow with the unknown still there is a fear but yet i really hope he did come home... to see us. i prob did sleep but kept waking up but with eyes closed all the time... 5.30am woke up went bac to mum's place to get ready for work. stayed 2nd day cos grandpa still get to come home on tuesday... when i tried to sleep, tot i heard music some kinda chinese instrumental piece... not loud ... weird... mum did dreamt of grandpa coming home...

so tired cos 2 nites like got sleep but like never sleep long.... then wednesday kidos came bac 1st day of school... generally ok but a hand ful about 5 .... testing patience and they are like space cadets... hopefully by 2nd week they wil lbe cured!!! i pity them but i gota bear with it!!! but still mood not very stable so easily get dishearted!!! i must stop this negative feel!!! but theres this kid nic quite cute... cos he's quite funny... not behavouir or joker type... dun know how to say... innocence??? prob. the things he say makes me laugh. wed nite i was knocked out once i got home! slept watching tv woke up to shower then slept thru the nite.

then woke up late for work! luckily mum called me cos she know gx on midnite and i didnt call her as usual tat morning. lucky me got cab and got to sch on time. exhausted! burn out and dun know if my tcher understand that i got leave early last few days cos gota rush home to pack thing and go over to uncle's place to prepare for prayer... today i left early cos shoulder hurts and am really tired... i need red bull and sleep... no its sleep and red bull for monday...

i am so tired...

anger and irritation

lately short fuse. easily irritated. pissed. and very upset. still feeling the loss of my grandpa.

glad i got 2 friends that helped cheered me up by their little gestures which meant alot to me. thanks to serena who got his bro to help me get my vodka on friday and dap who one day later around the same time in the afternoon mgs me to tell me she got me a vodka... hers was not dfs and its pepper. although i was excited but i was more thankful than anything else. these were the things that brighten me from school and events gog on so far daily in my life.

school could be a beautiful place to work at... hopefully things will change this year that people calm down, play it down, live happily... please hopefully they realise that we meet more often together than our family, time is not long its precious and please make it a happy place. its not difficult jus stop and change. i am not perfect but i am trying too.

not many true friends that will stick around all the way good or bad. but there is a limit. there are considerations and people should give in cos one has to be responsible cos there is more to take care of. i feel bad but i am unhappy yes i think its a problem. i understand but i hate it but i still ren. pissed. i just hope the person will change cos i have my limits. dam it

new kids on the block

woke up as usual mornings to go to school but it was saturday and reporting for work on orientation day doesn't start till 8.30am. But cos i wanted to catch a ride to school and oso i got loads of things to do!!! but when i alighted it was quiet... office was not open... as usual ... no one was in school... i walked to the middle school cafeteria ... cos i saw many aunties walking in earilier on at the gate. when walking to the stairways, the aircon thingy started rumbling and gave me a scare!

went by the back door to the kitchen as it was dark at the front doors, ordered a cheese & ham omelette and tea. it was so quiet as i was the only one in the whole cafeteria till errrr an indian family popped by and the mum non-stop! NON-STOP TALKING!!! do u wan eggs? do u wan box cereal? do u wan peanutbutter snadwich at her mid loudest but the place is quiet.... i then resort to gobble up and went back to the room and hope that the custodian i met earlier on remembered to help me open my doors!

so got into class at 7.30 and started working! my tcher came in about 8.30 and she was shock haha to know i was there early. well she could figure out that i did come early cos i had the 2 boards that was jus installed on friday at 6pm covered oredi. parents flowed in non stop and when there was a little break my tcher went get her lunch and i jaga 2 classes. lucky not too many at one shot and when they got bac lucky for me tab was on her way to get lunch. got lunch buddy at least. after that i wrote at one shot 19 names x 8 books. then waited for gerald to come at 3 althou work ended at 2pm.

was exhausted kept nodding in the car but we were heading to meet his fren to view cars and vans at ubi. the place no aircon and weather was hot. went to test drive suzuki apv. like the look and size and comfort price cheap but as always the price reflects something... well the engine is weak... 1.6 for 8 seaters and gulps petrol... too bad love the height of it! but not the reflective mirror thou!

went home to shower but i napped till almost 7.30pm.... dam tired. head to begonia and everyone was there. love my family. it was nice to see everyone guess my grandpa would be really glad. i do miss grandpa esp when i was eating cos i kept looking at his seat. i still feel sad that he's gone. i told gerald in the car tat i am glad that we have more than one family member to confide in, to get support, to get opinions from cos people means strength.

updated some fotos for the national day @ 66. but i did not include indoor photos of the suite... privacy...

NDP 07 @ 66

morning gx got the good news his off permitted. then at 1pm he gana recall cos got idiot mc...

i left for swisshotel myself and met up with arthur. we went to order the pizza from preggo and the rest of cousin, sis and bro went to supermarket to get drinks. the manager of the ITALIAN resturant and indian very irritating! SICKENING! dun like and he kept looking at us cos we so many people sitting waiting for the 3 large pizza not like i didnt order anything and its 107 for it okie! and i bot 2 more banana walnut cake at 22! errrr. pissed. loook looook!!!!

went up to the suite ... at first see many doors like any hotels... then only when go in then we realise 3 doors belong to the presential suite.... its huge. 5 balconies... to watch ndp. why are we like celebrating? my uncle long book this Presiential Suite for grandpa and for the family to watch fireworks and the parade together. since book uncle wanted to lift up everyone's spirit and gather together so we carried on.

MR soh!!! if u read this is true! my family that turn up all can vouch! my mum spotted an eagle circling outside the balcony asked everyone to see... by the time i got to the window i saw it fly past up the hotel ... so near... fascinating i saw the wings spread out, brown wings and white head and yellow beak!!! fast quick peek but i saw! I WAS dam EXCITED! called gx to let him know! it was beautiful.

the view was great and the pizza was good love the banana walnut cake. but i do wish grandpa was around. sad. when parade started it was excitment one after the next. the heli with the huge Spore flag flew past our room in fact lower than us it was soooo close. unbelievable and i am so thankful to my uncle m. he is great and his wife so generous and so are my rest of my relatives. the army stuff was interesting and the sound was loud! the kidos were funny at times! esp L when he salute soooo cute. the fireworks was a little disappointment cos the smoke covered most of it! it was BAD! but over all it was a good experience jus that it was not perfect ending to the show. fireworks in smoke!
went for dinner at hotel kopitiam. a cup of "yakun like" teh cost $5 here b4 gst and service tax...
fish head curry at $48 or 49... bad service... most stuff...i.... cai all on the table no rice and we like asked so many times and to different and even to the same people and stillllll waited like 15-20mins b4 the rice is cooked prob! crazy!.....

went bac to room to wait for gx. most of the adults went bac except the younger ones. when gx arrived i only can show him the places in darkness cos the kids were sleeping. he saw the bath room and he jus say wah so huge... sat down took a few pics talked to uncle and went home...

NDP 2007.

back to school

my 2nd year. work 2days then took 3 days compasionate leave cos grandpa passed away. i felt lucky that people i work with were very understanding. still sad. today in the morning j told me that she was very sorry that they forgot to send me flowers for my grandpa. i was surprised. i was like huh? she felt bad but i was like i understand i caught everyone on the 1st day of school. the busiest day. but can't imagine if i work elsewhere being a small fry would other firms do that? mum's co. cos mayb very chinese they were nice to my mum by sending blanket, dun know got flowers onot but they gave bajin quite substantial. was surprise cos mum this year took quite alot of time off cos sick but they are still very nice to her.

busy... still got quiute alot of work in school to prepare for students... getting tired very tired and am so glad i have a day break... national day... best thing that happen so far bcos of ND is haha ntuc got 4.2% off stuff we buy woh... it was so silly when i told sil is 42% off haha fat hope never will happen!

tomolo is a happy and sad day.

thank you.

i would like to thank my friends who turned up and oso to those that contributed bai jin. Thank you for the care and concern. I appreciate it.

thank you.

goodbye ah gong

my grandfather left our family on 29th July 2007, sunday.

He is a great, brilliant man. My grandfather is very intelligient. A man who has very strong determination to overcome all the obstacles in his life. His strong willpower is something I admire and his positive attitude is something i have to learn. I will never forget the times when he bought me my kids red cheongsam and my cloth mickey mouse lantern, if i did not remember wrongly it was special ordered by him. i was very proud to have the lantern as it was a gift from him and the best lantern around and that i ever had. During the times he stayed at my mum's place, my favourite topic with him was 4d results. I would always help him buy 4d then. I will also miss the "gambling" sessions we always have during CNY. esp when we play in-between... whenever it was his turn, he will defintely shout "ALL" regardless how his card was.

My last gift to him was a little book about sun zong shan from taiwan SYS museum. He called me in to read to me a calligraphy written by SYS. He is well-learnt. I didnt finish listening to him as i was feeling sad as he had no voice but was reading to me line by line. i wished i did stay to finish it with him instead of asking gerald to stand in.

I hope our family will stay strong together. I am proud to be in this family.

I will miss you ah gong.