missing someone

i am still sad about grandpa, still thinking of him everyday ... i made a slide last sunday. jus on com and jus click moviemaker and started searching for photos... cried when i started at 11+am to 3 pm when i was done with the slide. i used the song written by dick lee used in the show "he's a woman, she's a man" the song title is jin sheng jin ri... a very nice piece and it suited my feelings about me missing my grandpa. when i met mum, we went to aunt k house to wait for gerald to get the car from whampao... i told them not to cry then i will show them something i made... haha i cried the moment it started playing... all of us teared... the photos i had was taken last sept 07 till his bdae in june... i am glad i took pictures of him... i like the picture i took of him with natasha... the oldest and the youngest... love this pic.i am glad that we had a big celebration for him cos when i did the slide, he smiled thruout... and of cos happiest cos he received a mini mahjong set... a pretty big round cake... and think he loved the yum seng most...

stayed over at Uncle M place, on 13th august which was the 1st day of the 7th mth. when i got there aunt k gathered everyone and i showed everyone the slide i made... my motive is not to make everyone cry... i still felt sad but was forced to move on fast cos work piled in school, getting tired cos bac to work after 2mths break... so eventually no time to cry... i am a cry baby thats how i let my sorrow out but so tired no time to stop to miss my grandpa and to throw out the sadness... i felt so bottled up thats why i did the slide in memory of him... but yes most of my family members who saw it cried. cos i think they think the same way as me... we all still miss my grandpa esp my aunt o. who took care of him and lived with him. when she saw the slide... she cried it all out that nite...

it was difficult to fall asleep... cos grandpa's soul was to return that nite... it soul ... so somehow with the unknown still there is a fear but yet i really hope he did come home... to see us. i prob did sleep but kept waking up but with eyes closed all the time... 5.30am woke up went bac to mum's place to get ready for work. stayed 2nd day cos grandpa still get to come home on tuesday... when i tried to sleep, tot i heard music some kinda chinese instrumental piece... not loud ... weird... mum did dreamt of grandpa coming home...

so tired cos 2 nites like got sleep but like never sleep long.... then wednesday kidos came bac 1st day of school... generally ok but a hand ful about 5 .... testing patience and they are like space cadets... hopefully by 2nd week they wil lbe cured!!! i pity them but i gota bear with it!!! but still mood not very stable so easily get dishearted!!! i must stop this negative feel!!! but theres this kid nic quite cute... cos he's quite funny... not behavouir or joker type... dun know how to say... innocence??? prob. the things he say makes me laugh. wed nite i was knocked out once i got home! slept watching tv woke up to shower then slept thru the nite.

then woke up late for work! luckily mum called me cos she know gx on midnite and i didnt call her as usual tat morning. lucky me got cab and got to sch on time. exhausted! burn out and dun know if my tcher understand that i got leave early last few days cos gota rush home to pack thing and go over to uncle's place to prepare for prayer... today i left early cos shoulder hurts and am really tired... i need red bull and sleep... no its sleep and red bull for monday...

i am so tired...