silence broken.

i have made an effort to speak to my dad. i just didnt ignore him. i just sat there and talk to mum and he joined in the conversation and i started to talk to him. gx noticed that dad was in a good mood that day. he talk alot more than usual. he even joked with gx. he's 66 this year... i am glad i broke the silence in me. glad that sis's in-laws came this sun and it gave me a chance to see him and gave a chance to open up and am feeling good that i did so. 29th June , an important date - i talked to my dad.

live again

On 23rd june Monday : My hubby signed me up for a course to go rediscover myself. I was afraid cos i know that we have to really look at ourselves and be truthful during class to gain from this class. the teacher is a very smart man. he has eyes that see through your heart. he nails you down and gives you the the answer to your problems. I respect him but am afraid of him. i always know i dwell on negativity. lack motivation, lack determination unless it is something i like to do... but how to get it out from my system - stay positive? it wasnt it. this class started at 7pm but we ended at past mn. but i started to feel different after the class, thinking alot.

24th june tuesday : i looked forward to class but still carry a worried heart. the activities need interaction and i have always worried about group activities, i am afraid to fail. but through the day of learning, by the end of the day, i feel recharged. i felt enery. it was amazing. can't say much if what was done as it was a rule not to tell but my experience has never been so positive. i let my guard down and not worry about how people see us and oso not setting a barrier to bar people out. i see how small my problems are, in fact compared to others, they are really suffering and mines not even a speck cos their problem is so much bigger.

25th june wednesday : this is the day where i looked forward to class but am alittle sad that the class ends. listening to how people has fallen and stood up again, i am amazed. truly amazed and i dun doubt them, the truth is the truth and u can sense instantly how sincere these people are. during the self discovery time, i was very lucky to have the lecturer to help me cos i speak more fluently in english. i got an answer to my problem and i was able to see myself clearer. but when i heard what others said, i learnt from their experience and oso realised something very important to me... i need to really work on it... cos i totaly have forgotten that i do have another serious problem... i am so lucky to have met pats. my road is lighted up and i look forward to complete alot of tasks that has been waiting for me. these tasks were set by me, never took action but stayed inside me for so long... thus i have decided to blog less. cos i spent alot of time sitting here typing away. will record my life special events. i need time to go clear alot of things on hand. i hope to finish them before starting school and i really need to move it!

candy girls

Summer hols started alittle later this year. as mines about to start nesa left 2 weeks from her one month long hols. but we had a pretty busy June. She definitely learnt alot of things through this June hols. When i woke up on thursday morning, i was pretty hungry for a nice breakfast. i wanted porridge... from crystal jade and i called aunt to tell her i wanted to bring nesa along. as this was unplanned she didnt expect me but she got ready pretty quickly and was so ready to go out with me.

walked to crystal j but it opens at 10? we walked around wanting to wait for it to open but my patience ran out. so we walked and decided to settle for coffeebean breakfast. had this before elsewhere but dun think i wana eat at hub anymore cos the breakfast turned very cold very fast... regrets but we had to waste the food. nesa is better than me in a way... she eats her leafy salad. i jus eat the cranberries and almond flakes.

still hungry, i decided that since it was oredi 10, without any plans for the day, i brought her to bj8. once there we walked around to check what to eat and when i saw ding tai fong, asked her and she got excited. as it opens at 11 we walked around in the supermarket the only place opened... then we walked into shops that are opened and when it hit 11am we were sitting in the restuarant. HUNGrY! she ate equal amount of food as me! we shared the porkchop fried rice almost equally tot she would only be able to have 2 dumplings she insisted we have 3 each! think when one is happy and esp when u like the food and company, she can really eat! went to bookshop got her a word puzzle book and i got one for myself too, got a storybook for her and 2 cooking mag for myself. head to mum's place. cos sis needed help with photography places. after which suppposed to fetch us home but i suggested to follow her to her florist. the florist home is so nicely decorated! he's very good with his flowers. i look forward to see his work! head back to my place nesa and i watched enchanted, didnt complete it with gx cos he couldnt take the singing! nesa was amazing she reminded me that we haven eaten the cheesecake we bot! she knows her stuff! tot she would go for choc or strawberry but she chose classic lemon.

Friday : Aunt say she was excited. I know she is excited cos she morning call to wake me up and then she would check on me several times when i was gog over! aunt told me she actually sat up in her dreams and calling out my name... jiejie... i think one child suffers loneliness and she is a bubbly child so she likes companion. i was pretty touched but was afraid she fear me too cos i always "lecture" her. when i got her, she was really ready to go, i deduce she is happy with me. asked her but she dun remember and she said she like gog out with me thus mayb too excited cos many times when she knows she's gog out with me she gets up in the middle of the night thinking its time to go!

suppose to go our with ann on her actual bdae but we decided to spread things out we postpone it to friday. but ann decided not to join us. alittle disappointed but didnt want to spoil nesa's mood. we planned to go to a baking store to check out the things they sell. nesa is thrilled but told her we have to change our plans... she kept asking me why... wanted to wait for ann but cos she looked alittle disappointed, last minute we got out at newton. she ask how come? kids have many many questions but answering them i guess makes them excited. she was over the moon when she knows the trip is on.

our buy from the shop. not a very big shop but they have many little treasures here! nesa had tried cupcakes with me before. she ask alot of questions of cos! whats this for whats that??? i was attracted to the candy making stuff... knowing that its gog be sweet but i wanted something out of this trip. so i chose candy making, of cos the little gal was happy. we discuss what colours to buy, the moulds to get and bought a recipe book and once i finished speed reading what to do, we got started. cos i didnt read everything... we didnt know what happen when only yellow was the smoothest but the rest a little sticky... she kept asking so i read again... this candy melts cannot be over heated... i learnt something new! never tot in double boiling, can over heat.

didnt buy the piping bag so we used brushes to draw in the faces which wasnt easy. but i told her that for 1st try without attending class we learnt quite abit. i hope she picks up more learning skills! cos i am still learning! told her that she is luckier than me! she learnt her 1st candy making at 8 while i have hands on only at 31! saturday, she went present hunting with me. didnt know what to buy for housewarming so i decided to get for the kids. brought nesa and aunt to big o for lunch. then to borders where aunt bought her some books. that was our last outing for june. i bought nesa scapebook materials for her bdae and decided to do up some pictures to help her build her writing skills. also it pretty summarised the june hols we had. except that i didnt take the cruise and didnt take the "little rubber boat" to kusu cos we were at underwater world with the 3 youngest members. she went kl with her mum and aunt o's family. she's a lucky gal. i grew up lucky too.cos her mum used to bring us out during holidays every dec!

High Tea at Ritz-Carlton, Millenia

to some people this place may not be anything special. to many its just expensive. to me its one hotel that is very special to me. its got nothing to do with gx but more of what my uncle did for me. this place is very inspirational to me. to many they may not know the glass art here is famous. all handmade blown up from scratch. and i love the glass art here.

my 1st time ever at ritz was with uncle and aunt when i was 21. i was going through a rough patch then and he was so sweet to have brought me out to cheer me up on Valentines day. he brought sis and ann along too. my first brunch buffet at Greenhouse and i ate with champagne. that was my 1st time drinking C with food. we proceed to the suite uncle booked. we were given a tour and of cos the impressive part of the room has to be the toilet. the tub next to a view of the singapore river. when u are younger haven seen much of the world yet, its very impressive. especially when the ritz was opened not very long.

2nd time i was oso there with uncle m and aunt o, sis and ann. this time we were at the Summer Pavilion for dimsum. Never had i been to restaurant that has so many plates layered on the table, just like an english restuarant. i didnt fancy the dim sum very much but they were the most beautiful sculptured dim sum in animal shapes i have ever eaten. i count myself very lucky.

i returned to ritz's greenhouse 2 more times for dinner. once with gx and the other time was with my art school mates giving a teacher a farewell treat. was once at the ballroom with aunt o to attend a wedding fashion show. first time i saw vera wang bridal gowns. love the jewels from Piaget. i want to have a piece from there one day but i need to work very hard thou which i am not at the moment... they had all the very best displayed during the show and there was food tasting after the show. these events all happened many years back.

then on 17th June 2008, i returned to ritz once more. this time we were had high tea at Chihuly Lounge. usually i would pick to go to restuarant or hotel for a meal on special occasions. aunt o picked this Lounge to have tea with a 8 years old birthday girl. her intention was not for the little gal but more for treating her parents, my aunt k and uncle w to tea. ann and i were just lucky to be around with the kids in the morning! hi tea set is affordable but i won't come here unless i got a special event to celebrate with anyone. places like this is a treat for me cos the environment to me is different compared to other hotels.

ann and i were still filled from lunch so we shared a set that consist of champagne. i chose the berry over the melon champagne. while i enjoyed the hightea with champagne, ann had the tea which came with the set. i love canapes and little desserts and especially when they are nicely displayed. the best dessert on the tray has to be this french dessert - Mont Blanc and its main ingredient is chestnut. love this!

the rest of the minitures were very good too. i wana learn to make the smoked salmon canape. the cold mushroom was yummy. love the wild mushroom taste. i need to find out if the "red prawns" are a different breed of prawns of is it a method of cooking it to get this reddish colour! i love the reddish prawns in australia and i want to know where i can get them in singapore! are they different from the pranws my mum buys in the market?

the rest of the sweets are good too like the raspberry mini macaron. surprising the raspberry are very sweet. think i prefer to have medium sized scones cos when they are tiny, its hard to half it. here they use jams and honey from Hediard. french brand. pretty expensive in singapore. they have a shop near tanglin area. after the set, aunt o ordered creme brulee and i wanted one too. it was nice to have end our afternoon with high tea here. i like gog out to places on weekdays and before the crowd sets in to be able to enjoy the place.

Surprise for nesa !

sunday was a super laze-in day. wasn't feeling very well felt exhausted. lazed the whole day and not sure if the headache is caused by too much rest or not enough... gx was all over singapore. he went to help his fren J to move house then he came home shower and went out to meet another fren J to help her settle some issues. came home with fix the airconditioner cos it was leaking... then his shoulder pain... slept early cos the next day gota get up early.
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monday 16th : we thought the aircon wot drip anymore cos it didnt when we just got into bed but after sending gx out... i had to clean up the wet puddle of water that soak alot of our things wet! then i did some updating on sat. pack up and throwing stuff away and stayed at home the whole day.
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tuesday 17th : nesa actual bdae! she must be very excited cos she called my exactly at 9am to wake me up. i was already awake by 7am. she told me she woke up at 3am thinking it was time to go! then she was awake by 7am and ready when she called me at 9am! told her i was gog to get her only 10.30am. she called again at 9.30am and then 10am and at 10.30am she asked why am i still at home! picked her up finally at 10.45am and aunt o called saying she was gog to be late... brought her for breakfast at yk.
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when Lety arrived she was very excited but could see she was alittle tensed... her 1st time gog out with me and her 1st time carrying her own bag. yes my little cousin 1st outing with me, without mum or any other older adult older than me. she was pretty excited about getting on the train. she couldn't stop asking questions and made people around smile... innocent little one.
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met ann at ps. she made all the reservation and little arrangement to make nesa bdae special. told nesa that ann couldn't get any place in the restaurant so we will eat foodcourt. mean but she was surprised when we walked into swensens. then we were led to a table where there were balloons decorating by the window. could see she was happy. when i got back with movie tickets, the gals had "flowers" in their hands.

they were so lucky that the staff at swensens were so sweet to make they the sculptured balloons! made nesa feel even happier and special. the kids ordered kids meals. nesa got mini burgers filled with mayo chicken and lety got fish and chips. while i got salmon baked rice and ann ate caeser salad with chicken stripes.

after the meal we waited for nesa's next surprise. when her compliementary bdae sundae came, lety sang nesa bdae songs so loudly everyone in the cafe looked! after which we brought the gals to daiso to shop. they wanted everything but each was limited to 3 items. their items kept changing as they walked thru different parts of the shop. went to take pics with the movie posters and diecut of the panda.

the gals wanted popcorn thou i know they are very full! the movie was nice except that i missed a part cos they both wanted to go to the loo! after the movie, we called aunt o to confirm place to meet and we were very surprised when we were told where to meet...

Surprise Party

Saturday 14th : Sherry-Ann's surprise bdae party! aunt A arranged for my cousin, a surprise party at Meritus Mandrin hotel. 2nd level asian tapas Mezebar. family members were to arrive at 1pm, latest by 2.15pm cos aunt A told ann to meet at 2.45pm. Gx and I arrive at 1.20pm, mum and aunt S were the early birds. the place is small, but cosy. we were given a very nice sofa seats corner where the kidos can have their corner while the adults took a long table and the cousins took the other long table. i sat with aunt A at the other sofa seat corner and then uncle m, aunt o and mum exchanged seats with aunt A so that she can mingle with the rest of the adults .

Doi delivered the flowers and it was so heavy! seriously need 2 hands to hold it! 18 stalks of roses and matched with different kinds of other flowers. love the pearly details. love his arrangements, unique.

we all started eating 1st but aunt A and i were pretty nervous, both of us started eating but we ate little and i wanted to wait for ann to eat with her. aunt A decided to go down to the lobby early to wait for her. Ann was told that they were there to celebrate fathers' day one day earlier. when aunt called my hp and said nothing - that was the signal. we all stood up and waited, the kids even hid behind the stairways. uncle k almost suffered leg cramp cos we waited longer than 5mins! then i called aunt A and she said ann went to the ladies! but still we stood up and waited. then we heard aunt A stamping her feet so loudly and we knew she was coming up and then when we saw her we sang her a birthday song.

thebdae cake was provided by the hotel and wallace presented the cake to his sis. the cake is small cos there is a dessert bar! we didnt need to share the bdae cake! she said she liked the flowers alot and i think with the flowers it made her standout and feel special.

she received many gifts! sis got her perfume set. lucky ann received 2 bags, make up from bobbi brown, sweater top, accessories from the boys and 2 angbaos!

started my brunch with the lobster bisque. it was very nice. the antipasta and cold cuts were very good. i like the slices of duck very much. from the hot choices i enjoyed the lamb stew alot, the veal sausages with onion was yummy and i love the little clams in white wine sauce... the veg bits went well with the clams. i was pretty full so i didnt try anything from the roast corner. Gx said the roast beef was good. nesa had pizza. must be not bad cos she finished her slices. there was something else i didnt try there... dun remember what they were. Of cos i head to the desserts. when i say full that refers to the savoury! sweets are a must after meals no matter how full!

chocolate shot with bits of mangoes was alittle weird combination but still it was not too bad. just surprise that it was so watery, the palm sugar creme brulee - not nice... the cheese cake was ok, creamy- nowadays i am not so into cheesecakes anymore... the mousse cake had coconut which i dun fancy. the swissroll had a very interesting fruit for filling... was not able to guess it right when mum asked. Its not apricot or peach, its Jackfruit. the scones were not too bad. always love it warm thou. the egg tart didnt taste eggy more like a light custard tart.

My favourite dessert is ... Crepes Suzette! love it! its not an egg! its crepes cooked in orange marmalade and orange liquor and brandy. here they topped it with vanilla ice-cream and your choice of mango sauce, chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce and chocolate flakes. My 1st try was with mango sauce. it was so good and after a long rest and moving around playing with the twins, nesa, ann and i went get more crepes but we had to wait for the crepes to be prepared 1st! it was a pretty long wait. but we insisted on having it before we leave! for my 2nd piece i had chocolate flakes, i think i will like it plain with no toppings just topped with more orange sauce! i will come back for the crepes... quite like the place cos its cosy. we left at 4+ almost 5pm.

we are gog out tomolo to celebrate nesa's bdae. her actual bdae is on the 17th and ann's on the 18th. for both days we have arrange things to do! nesa is very excited! i just hope its doesnt rain when we are out!